Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
