i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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