bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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