Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
