PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Randomize
