when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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