Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
