Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize
