Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
