i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
