Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
