so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
