I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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