I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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