Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
