I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
