At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
