hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
