it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
