someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
