we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
