bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
