You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
