went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
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