I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
