i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
