he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
