I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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