New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
