Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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