omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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