I'm laying in your front yard are you home
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
