You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
