I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
