I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
You may now shotgun with the bride
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
