honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
