I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Pappa wants mamma naked
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
