it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
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