So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
