Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
