obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
