that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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