Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
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