Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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