She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
