people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize
