Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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