i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
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