Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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