you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
