i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
