I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
